Your Health and Needs

Mental ill health is unpredictable and emotionally taxing. Carers often feel that they “walk on eggshells” in order not to upset the painstakingly achieved balance that has been established. This can be very limiting for both the carer and the service user, and gives little scope for moving forward. Where there is a good level of trust and open communication between them, the service user feels more understood and supported, and their everyday anxieties are less likely to grow into major problems. For the carer, it results in greater understanding of the problems, and being able to act in a constructive way rather than worrying about pushing the service user too far too soon, and doing nothing because of the risk of relapse. Mutual understanding also increases the chances of planning breaks or time out for the carer.

Carers can feel guilty about taking time for themselves, but it is crucial that they do – one in three carers becomes ill with stress-related disorders.

For yourself:

Remember that you are merely human and have needs of your own. Continually putting them off, or not allowing time for yourself, will only make you resentful, irritable and could eventually make you unwell.

Allow time each week to do something you enjoy, something to make you feel relaxed, refreshed and that life is good.

Eat regularly and well. Poor sleep and diet will only add to your overall stress levels.

Exercise as much as possible – even a short brisk walk will help.

Plan to take regular time out and/or holidays – and take them.

Put in clear boundaries with the person you care for. Be clear about what you can and cannot do – and stick to it.

Ensure that there is at least one supportive person with whom you can talk confidentially. It is really easy to lose your perspective and sense of humour if you feel isolated.

Remember that your GP can be a source of help. Take a friend or advocate with you if you think you don’t know how or may not be able to tell your doctor what you are feeling.

Knowing about the illness or disorder that you are dealing with will help you to understand it and act appropriately, even if the person you care for doesn’t want to know.

Joining a Carers Group helps relieve isolation, stress, loss of humour and loneliness, as well as helping you to understand different types of illness and disorder.

Seek advice from the team involved with providing care if you can – if not an advocate can help to get answers for you.

If you should be receiving services that you are not getting, don’t be too proud or too afraid to complain – don’t just cope all by yourself, seek help from an advocate. (see ‘where to get help’)

Counselling

Counselling can help you to express feelings and emotions, safely and confidentially. It can help you to understand why you feel stressed, angry, resentful, help to maintain a sense of perspective or new coping strategies.

• Carers UK – The Voice of Carers
• British Association for Counselling
• Westminster Pastoral Foundation; General counselling service, with specific service for young people. Charges are made on a sliding scale according to how much you can afford. Tel: 020 7378 2000
• Clasp The Carers Centre

Education, Training and Leisure Activities

Sources of information about educational and leisure activities:

• Leicester City Council
• Leicester County Council
• Rutland County Council
• LAMP (use this website)
• Local library
• Local leisure centre or swimming pool
• Local community college
• Local community centre
• Local paper

Specific education and training about mental illness and caring is available free for Carers’ through:

• Rethink the Carers Education and Training Project
• LAMP Carers Support Programme
• Clasp Caring with Confidence

These programmes may be of help to enable you to set boundaries and to express your own needs without losing your temper or feeling that you have to give in.

Alternative Therapies

You may wish to consider some alternative therapies. It may be useful to inform your GP if you are considering Homeopathy, and if you do decide to go ahead with any alternative therapies, tell your therapist if you are taking any medication (whether this is prescribed by your GP or something you have bought for yourself).

Acupuncture: Uses small needles inserted into the skin at specific points to balance or restore energy.

Aromatherapy: Uses the essential oils from plants to enhance physical and emotional well-being. The oils can be inhaled or massaged into the skin.

Homeopathy: Uses natural substances (known as remedies) which mimic symptoms. Substances used are very diluted and have very few harmful side effects.

Massage: Unblocks muscular tension, stimulates circulation and helps the body to eliminate waste (eg blocked sinus). Massage also gives a sense of physical comfort that can ease sadness and isolation.

Meditation: Through learning how to clear your mind of worries and control your breathing, meditation can provide periods of time that are peaceful and inwardly calm.

Reflexology: Works on a similar basis to acupuncture except that the energy pathways are released through reflex points on the feet or hands, each of which corresponds to an area of the body.

Shiatsu: Uses massage and/or finger pressure in a similar way to acupuncture. Also known as acupressure, it helps to release blocked energy and so stimulate healing.

Tai Chi: Uses movement based on martial arts exercises to increase energy and health.

Yoga: Aims to improve mind, body and spiritual functioning, using slow gentle stretching exercises and deep breathing techniques.